Announcement

New posts on my mirror blog over at Wordpress.
Why? Because I am a sucker for looks.

First ever Hindi post

थिस इस वहत थिस पोस्ट लुक लिके इन हिंदी. ई थिंक व्रित्तें हिंदी इस सो ग्राफिकाल्ल्य कूल! थैंक्स तो अनुपमा एंड निथिं!

For the lowdown go here.

In the rain

Yesterday evening I found myself staring at sheets of dark rain, under the porch of a bank. There is something otherworldly about the whole experience. You know that you should and would prefer to be some place else. The sense of displacement is immense and all pervasive. On the cusp of leaving for some hopefully better place and yet tied, against your own free will, to the present plane. And all because of some wetness on the hair and the shoulders. Its not even acid rain for God's sake! Will it kill me to dash to the car? No but still I wait. For what? For the heavens to hand out some charity that will never come. The sky is too big to care for puny mortals.

Tumblr.com

Just chanced upon this thing called Tumblr. Something like a virtual scrapbook. Check out my scrapblog. Pretty sparse but I just started a couple of minutes ago!

Funny little website

After a severe reduction in my sleep quota last night my brain is mush. Despite the fact this still brought a smile to my lips. Check it out. A whole new way of self-promotion.

Fairy tales

What does ‘The Three Little Piggies’, ‘Red Riding Hood’ and ‘Jack and The Beanstalk’ have in common besides being fairy tales for children? They all involve the eating of one or more of the characters and in the case of Jack, the preparation to eat someone. It amazes me that these bloody and violent tales are considered wholesome staple bed time stories. Pigs actually boil and eat wolves for supper and in protest the wolf eats grandma and her pretty little grand-daughter after a game of deception. With the help of the kind hearted orge’s wife, Jack barely escapes being cooked in an oven.

What kind of message are they giving to our future generations? Feeling bored? Stuff your baby sister in the microwave and dinner is served. Its good for a laugh too.

The Mighty Fall

31 years and counting. Thats how long the Fall have been at it and they are every bit as relevant as the day they were dragged kicking and screaming into the punk scene. While the Rolling Stones turn into the embarrassing grandparents on life support that refuse to die, Mark E Smith and his ever rotating group of musicians stay steadfast to their goal in life; never compromise. They have never and by the sounds of their recently released 26th album "Reformation Post TLC" they never will.

Nothing will prepare the senses for their first meeting with the Fall. The band will force you to unlearn everything you know about music. Forget choruses and verses; they're just details. Its all about ATTITUDE, baby. Stupidity is not an option. There is a laser-sharp wit and intelligence to the whole proceeding centered around the lead singer and only constant, Mark E Smith. He speaks in his own invented code and to get it, you must be similarly endowed with an acrobatic mental faculty.

Here's a dance that is pure hell
Enter at your peril
Take five dead beat steps
Do a stroll
Act like you just got outta jail
You must be repellant
Dance dead beat descendant
(an example from 'Dead Beat Descendant')

The late great John Peel was an important patron and to date they have recorded a total of 24 live radio sessions for him besides performing live on his lawn during his birthday. How cool is that!

Listening to the Fall is like walking down a gray alleyway for the hundredth time and yet finding new and strange things to marvel at. It may be ugly like hell but its still new. Mark E Smith is not a singer in the strictest sense of the word. Rather he growls and barks into the mic barely keeping in time with the instruments raging and tripping over each other. To the uninitiated its all a mess but there is a tangible groove driving each song to its inevitable end only to start all over again on the next track. It should not work but it does, to startling effect. There are no hooks to hang on to, no maps, just blind faith in the genius of Mr. Smith.

A play on perspectives

In my quest to bring to you, my dear readers, the best artistic output on the web, let me present to you this mind-blowing collection of artwork by Rob Gonsalves.

Simple list of things to do after a Ubuntu fresh intall

Beryl in action

After about 3 years of using various versions of Ubuntu, I have more or less come up with a gameplan following each fresh install of our favorite friendly neighborhood linux distro. I was bugged for the longest time that I could not get Beryl to run in Edgy Eft (version 6.10 for the uninitiated). I did it with the previous Dapper Drake and knew that my PC could handle it and handle it well. The various threads I found in the Ubuntu forums only made me more confused. Being a lazy Saturday I decided to do a clean install and perhaps finally get to enjoy all the eye candy that Beryl promises. Which brings us nicely to the point of this post. Many newbies to linux or Ubuntu will be largely underwhelmed when first confronted with the far from beautiful brown desktop. Worse still is the fact that the thing is mute and blind too. Due to fear of copyright infringement, Ubuntu has no multimedia capabilities out of the box. This does not mean it can't be done. You just need some simple tweaks.

1. Upgrade the OS - as soon as you log into the desktop an icon on the top panel will inform you that there are upgrades available. Click on it and follow the resultant instructions. A broadband connection to the internet is essential.

2. Multimedia - Being a lazy ass, I decided to give the much touted Automatix a spin this time around and it did not disappoint. Before long Morrissey was singing from within my PC.

3. Graphics card driver - I found this automated script recently and it worked like clockwork. You will need the latest driver for Beryl to work.

4. Beryl - Finally. The best tutorial I have found so far is this one here. Everything but the kitchen sink can be found here. Scroll down to the section on "Eye Candy" and go crazy!

5. Should things not work out do not despair. Hop over to the friendly watering hole that is the Ubuntu forums and you will find people who will go out of their way to help you out.

That's all you need to end up with a dancing, singing Ubuntu desktop environment.

Disclaimer : These things worked for me in version 6.10 codenamed Edgy Eft

Jonathan Yuen

Another great interactive website here.

Warning : must have Flash enabled in your browser

Saturday morning

Woke up real early and found that I could not go back to sleep. The thought of 2 open days in front of me just fills me with excitement. Thank god for the weekends!

Everything just seems brighter(even though the outside is pitch black at this unearthly hour) and the world is full of potential again. The steaming cup of coffee beside me augments my sense of well being. Yes people I am happy again!

Surgery is a strange thing

There is nothing natural about surgery. Everything it stands for, except for the desire to cure, is against existence as we know it. When was the last time you saw a monkey slicing open the abdomen of another monkey when the latter falls ill? Have you ever seen a lion performing brain surgery on a member of its pride? Don't even get me started on all the barbers in ancient times who moonlighted as surgeons and whose idea of anesthesia was plying their patients with alcohol before mutilating their bodies.

I just dropped someone near and dear to me off at the hospital for a surgical procedure. Everyone at home was downplaying the whole thing but it was obvious to me that tension had taken on physical form. It was perceptible in the way everyone was avoiding eating in front of the person since she has been fasting since the night. A few hours before midnight, she was stuffing her face with junk food; something which she rarely does being the health freak that she is. It would have been comical if not for the fact.

At this time she should be wondering the anesthetic-fueled landscape of her mind. I sincerely hope she is as comfortable and pain-free as modern medical science can allow. I hope she finds something good there.

A message to all online criminals of the world

Can't these online con-men and spammers take a hint? For the past few years I have been inundated with emails telling me that my paypal account needs verification. They have threatened to close the account if I do not validate my information via the provided link. They have indicated that all my monetary transactions will be halted (not that I have so much money to transact with in the first place). The latest email tells me that there is a message of earth-shattering significance in my paypal mailbox. I just need to log into it via the embedded link.

Listen up people; the mail account that you are sending all these threats to is not even the one that I used to sign up with paypal! So please, get a job, a life and f**k off!!

Life goes on

..... life goes on,
long after the thrill of living is gone.... (excerpt from John Cougar Mellencamp's 'Jack & Diane')

After a particularly taxing day at work the above lines coming out from the car stereo can hit your senses like a steam train. When did I lose the ability to look at things and situations in awe and pure unadulterated wonder? I do not believe that these things do not exist; its just that I have lost the ability to appreciate them for what they are. In the meantime life marches on at its own funereal pace.

Amazing web design

I just have to share with all you people out there this mind-blowing website.

Shooting the breeze

Not your average in-the-car-with-nothing-but-empty-road-in-front conversation.

Woman : Do I smell?

Man : Yes you do especially after the gym

Woman (obviously very perturbed) : Shit!

Man : Do I smell?

Woman (more perturbed now that she realizes she is smellier than a man) : .............

Damn you Caffeine!

The Caffeine molecule

After having my sleeping hours drastically cut back by work commitments for the past one week, I woke up this morning with a superhuman (well, at least for me) determination to make the most of the weekend. I downed a cup of coffee at 6 AM and followed that with another 2 hours later. With my blood singing and my brain cells buzzing I set off for the nearest mall for some retail therapy.

Browsing around I decided to pamper myself and bought an item for RM 98.70 (approx. USD 28). Out of the corner of my eye I spied a poster about a store wide promotion whereby you would get a stamp for every RM 50 on a single receipt. Collecting 5 stamps would make you the proud owner of a RM 30 discount card which you can use at leisure. I walked up to the counter with my purchase and the cashier explained this to me in great detail. She suggested that I look around the store and get myself some small item to make up the RM 100 that would make me eligible for 2 stamps.

I dicked around for a good 5 minutes and felt the boredom descend. My brain was a blank sheet and it quickly made friends with pure laziness. I trudged back to the counter with a sheepish grin and paid up. The girl looked at me as if I was growing horns. "What a pity, sir," she said with a practiced smile on her face, while applying one stamp on my card. That's one, where it could have easily been two.

Driving home, the full horror of the missed opportunity dawned on me, draining every ounce of pleasure that I was suppose to feel from the purchased item. Now it was an albatross around my neck and I couldn't stand the sight of it. What a way to spend the weekend!

Caffeine, I thought you were my friend! What a time to desert me!

DNA of this blog

This is my blog depicted as DNA sequence courtesy of Web2DNA.

The Aged

While driving just now I noticed an elderly couple by the side of the road. The man was trying to step up onto the sidewalk from the road. It was just a height of about 4 to 5 inches but it was painfully obvious that he was struggling. His foot kept abutting hopelessly against the side, failing to reach sufficient height to plant itself on the pavement. He would have toppled over if not for his wife who was holding his arm and an umbrella to shed him from the sun while he tried again and again.

When our bodies are able, we take things like stepping onto the sidewalk for granted. For this man the mere few inches may as well have been the tallest mountain in the world. I remember when I was laid up in bed after screwing up my back. The act of getting up from a lying posture was sheer torture. My chronic backache has now become a part of my life, so much so that I am now unable to bend down to reach for that lower drawer or to pick things up from the ground. I have to squat to get at things below waist height. I shudder to think what I would be like when I reach the age of the elderly man I saw today.

Change is over-rated

Its been too long. Somehow got caught up in real life a bit too much to have time to blog about...err...real life. Writers' block is real and it hangs over me like a ratty curtain. Back to normal programming then.

A few years ago i had a conversation with a close friend and in the course of shooting the breeze he said that he was feeling very restless and felt strongly that he needed a change of environment. A short time later he actually uprooted himself and left for foreign pastures. You will never catch me saying or doing anything like that, not in a million years. Not if hell freezes over.

Why? I live for the stability of my immediate environs. Every time I change, I die a little. I worry that if I change too much there would be nothing left of me in this life. Some may argue that change signifies growth. That's well and good but who wants to grow up anyways?

Forgetfulness - Billy Collins Animated Poetry

A thought provoking animated poem about a slippery thing called memory.

Lunar New Year

Every year at this time there is a human exodus, something which i have managed to avoid up until now. Like gaggles of migrating birds, I became a part of a V formation in the sky, resolutely pointing towards warmer climates and the core idea of family; security and familiarity.

After a month of being away from home, I am understandably excited about sleeping once again in my own bed, ruffling the back of my dog and savoring my mother's cooking. Happy to report that my anticipation was met a hundred fold over. To sweeten the deal even further, the light drizzle on Chinese New Year's eve brought pleasant respite to the usual heat and humidity around this time of the year.

After a veritable feast around the dinner table, we uncorked a bottle of red wine and drank to a new beginning and fresh hopes. Here's wishing everyone who reads this a great one ahead!

Machine Love

There is something about an iPod that just feels right. Its deceivingly simple in design but if there is an embodiment of the x-factor, this little gadget is it. Its no thicker than a deck of cards and weighs slightly more. The 2 external movable parts it has (ie the click wheel and the ‘hold’ button) fits right in to make a solid whole.

In the center is the wheel which many have tried to copy but the pale imitations have never amounted to much. Its genius the way the wheel creates both a tactile and auditory sensation when you run your finger around it in the course of selecting the items in the menu. The feeling is indescribable; you just have to touch it yourself to fully appreciate the ingenuity of design.

My iPod is white although the black version has its legions of fans. The merits of both colors have been the subject of flame wars online largely among people with unhealthy amounts of time. In a fit of trendiness I decided that my iPod must match my all-white iBook laptop. Irrational but undeniable.

The surfaces have a slick finish whether you are talking about the chrome bottom or the plastic top. Its propensity to pick up fingerprints and scratches is the trade off for the metallic smooth feel. A dab of Brasso has always worked wonders for my little friend. I sometimes find myself unknowingly running my fingers along the sides; enjoying the sensation a bit too much to be healthy.

Yes, I am a fanboy. So sue me!

The Man

Its only right that nature tied child-birth and child bearing to the woman. Its against every instinct in the male genome to actually provide care of any sort to the young. I am not saying that it cannot be done but that its just unnatural, a travesty of human existence.

I am at the airport now and just saw a family with 2 kids. The husband has planted his posterior resolutely onto a chair and his wife is frantically calling out to her missing child. The little rascal has apparently tottered off to god knows where. She is practically hoarse now and all her mate can do is shout at her for not taking better care of their children, all done from the comfort of his chair. The offender is finally found and the man goes back to picking his nose.

This man is the perfect poster boy for a nationwide vasectomy campaign.

Holiday .........NOT

'Holiday' has got to be one of the most predictable and hackneyed piece of fluff to come out of Hollywood. Yes, I know its a romantic comedy but does it have to be so formulaic? Is it too much to ask for some originality? Its like the writers just sat through an entire weekend watching all the chick flicks ever made and then just regurgitated the whole sorry mess onto paper, hoping that no one would notice.

The dialogue is lazy and the characters one-dimensional. Jude Law looks too good to be real and Jack Black is a fish out of water. He should stick to playing the psycho-clown with a heart of gold and leave the sappy stuff to others.

As a meditation on love, it is mediocre at best. As a piece of entertainment art it fails miserably. Stay away from this turd!

Bloggers Meet in Penang

Helping out a fellow blogger to promote a meeting of like-minded folks in Penang. More details to be had here. Unfortunately I will not be able to make it as by then I would be back on the chain gang in Kuala Lumpur. Have fun guys and gals!

Help! I am blind on the left side!

Another month another mishap. After my shoes got spirited away in the dead of night, I woke up this morning to find that one of the side view mirror of my car has been broken by some one who will surely roast in the pits of hell for all eternity come judgment day.

It was either a failed attempt to steal the thing or it was a hit and run. Either way I hereby rain curses on this person and his/her subsequent 7 generations.

Orson Welles - so much to answer for

Want to hear the original radio broadcast of Orson Welles' "War of the Worlds"? I know you do.

Love In Time

Locked in an eternal embrace, this Neolithic couple, found at a dig site in Italy, have sparked great excitement in the Archaeological world.

BIID

'Body Identity Integrity Disorder'; that's what it stands for. To find out about it, read this harrowing confession by a mother of two.

cool air

The man on the sidewalk has resurfaced! Due to the exceptionally hot weather, he has taken to sleeping in an air-conned environment. A nearby bank has an after-hours banking alcove where there is a row of ATMs and cheque-deposit machines. In the space between the last machine and the wall, a pair of legs stick out. The cardboard that he previously used to sleep on is now on top as a blanket.

To the people that go in to withdraw cash, he does not exist. Everyone musters an extra ounce of concentration and hunkers down for the task at hand. There is an invisible wall that separates them from him and its impenetrable. To his credit, the man is considerate and stays out of the way. All he wants is his forty winks and the last thing he needs is trouble. Thus the wheels of the world turn and the status quo is maintained.

at the car wash

Ever had the visual sensation that you are being swallowed whole by a pre-historic giant creature of a science-defying species? Forget about Disneyland (we can scarce afford it anyway). Pay a few measly dollars, drive into the mechanical maws of the local car wash and still your beating heart.

First water is spouted from every direction. Foam covers your car, the salivations of the beast to moisten and juice up the meat. Seconds later there is a lot of rumbling and whooshing like air from a growling stomach. Green giant brushes appear from the sides and the top, inching closer with each passing second. I swear I can hear chomping teeth. The brushes make contact and you start to tremble.

The foam is washed away in waves and finally you can see. Air is blasted against you as if after being partially digested, you are now expelled through the back passages of the beast. A green light indicates that your ordeal is over and being thus humbled you drive out, thanking your lucky stars that you lived to tell the tale.

beautiful objects of art

If you are into art and zany animations check this link out. Has Microsoft finally got something right?

No, this is NOT a sponsored post.

vitamins for the soul

"The building doesn't matter. However modern and futuristic it may look, its only sand and bricks. The people working within its walls is what makes it special."

Heard the above from an unexpected quarter this morning. Have a sneaky suspicion that it may not be entirely original but its still a noble concept and should be applauded. Kudos to leaders who are passionately committed to their cause.

i hate music

Two days in a row, now that's weird. As i was turning a particular corner while driving home from work, the same song came on the radio. This was at the exact spot and almost at the same time. "Who Says You Can't Go Home" by Bon Jovi. Boy, how i hate Bon Jovi. I swear my brain is turning to goo with the rubbish top 40 hits that they play on the local station. Anything to beat the silence in my car.

damien jurado - sad-sack folk rock

Ang Lee made a mistake with the otherwise flawless 'Brokeback Mountain'. He neglected to commission Damien Jurado to score the soundtrack. In his latest release 'And Now That I Am in Your Shadow' Jurado has created the spiritual equivalent of doomed relationships between individuals born at the wrong time and in the wrong place.

If the breathtaking sceneries in the movie can sing they will sound like this collection of songs, sparse and possessed of a stillness that is overwhelming in its scope.

She has a dad she doesn't know
Who sends her letters with no return address...
"I don't know his name..."
"He don't know my face..."
"I am better off this way..."

You never ever listen to Jurado on speakers. His music is painfully personal and should be listened to only on head phones preferably with the lights turned way down low. Recently Jurado declared himself officially a band by adding 2 permanent members ostensibly to augment his musical vision. Ironically he sounds even more alone than ever.

The melodies are skeletal but speaks of wide open spaces where strangers meet up accidentally and just as suddenly break up and move on. Memories of painful separations permeate the words which say more by saying less. Love goes unrequited giving rise to painful longing which feels so bad that it feels good. Looking for a good hurtin'? Look no further. File under 'very special indeed'.

excess baggage

During a short lull in activities around the workplace, I was shooting the climate-controlled breeze with a few colleagues.

"So-and-so decided not to pursue his career further because of his aging parents. He has to take care of them at home," said my lady friend who has 3 children of her own, one of them pre-school. She goes home on weekends but stays in a rented apartment during working days.

Baggage; that's all we have to show in life. Being humans we all, understandably, need contact and love. In fact that's what make us humans in the first place. As a consequence we are indelibly linked to others. Some more so than others. Things get messed up when the latter prevents you from realizing your full potential. Inadvertently they drag you into their vortex of crippling neediness and dependence. Like a junkie jonesing for their next fix they will whine and snivel till they get your undivided attention. Against your better judgment you succumb, to the detriment of self. They chip away at your given time of existence and before you know it, an old used-up self stares back at your from the mirror.

"Where did I go?" you ask, desperately trying to rub out the crow's feet around your eyes.

There is an urgent hammering on the door. "Can you drive me to the drug store? My arthritis is acting up again," an all-too-familiar voice says.

blame mother earth

Well the dateline has come and gone and we are still struggling in snail-paced internet limbo. A day after the Taiwan quake happened we were informed that several ships were on the way to repair the damaged underwater cables which linked major parts of Asia to the rest of the world. A few days later news started appearing that one of the ships broke down and needed repairs itself. Then we were given a deadline of January 23rd for all services to resume. Many eagerly awaited the date only to be disappointed including myself when coming home after work on the 23rd I found that my connection was even worse than what it was a few days prior. A new date has been announced - 29th of January. Dare we dream?

For a long time now my local internet provider has been throttling p2p and torrent traffic. Maybe this time they have found the perfect excuse to completely eradicate high bandwidth usage by customers who pay a premium for broadband. After all broadband should just be used for emails and web surfing, right? Heavens forbid you should use it for anything else.

Irate customer : "Hello, I am calling to lodge a complaint about my slow connection when I am using bittorrent"

Call center : "So sorry the earthquake did it and we are not responsible. Good-bye and have a nice day."

hands free

When the inventors of hands free earphones came up with the idea, did they give any thought as to how a person would look talking into them while they are all alone? Sitting in front of his dinner plate, a man in long sleeves and a tie suddenly started talking seemingly to himself. Another man who was walking pass did a double take when he saw him, just to make sure the former is not off his head.

Things get even weirder when they start gesticulating and decide to have a heated debate with the party on the other end of the telephone conversation. Its hilarious when a group of them stand in close proximity, each holding a different conversation. some are laughing while others scowl into thin air. i think the scene would not be any different in an asylum for the clinically insane.

the life of pi

Ever wondered how the mysterious value 3.142 or better known as 'pi' is derived? Click here for an animation and explanation. Why should you care? For the same reason you should care that at the exact moment when we die we weigh 21 grams less than when we were alive. Some say that's how much life weighs.

slow internet - an alternate explanation

My sister has a theory worth blogging about. She was cursing a few moments ago about how slow the internet is. Her reasoning is that it is the middle of the month and a lot of people are broke for the month having spent all their salary during the first 2 weeks. Since going out entails spending, everyone must be sitting in front of their PCs now and surfing the web seeing how the internet is the cheapest form of entertainment. Thus net congestion. The Taiwan quake be damned.

bloggers unite!

Malaysian bloggers are under attack. Unite to repel the evil that is censorship. Never be muzzled.

5 minutes to midnight

Came home to news that mankind is just 5 minutes away from doomsday. The doomsday clock which has been in existence since the mid 40's was pushed 2 minutes forward and now stands at 5 minutes before midnight. The clock is a symbol of how close we are to total meltdown and annihilation as a species.

More interestingly (as if total destruction is any less interesting) browsing the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, there is a timeline of events that propelled the minute hand closer to 12 and those that reversed the progress. Reading between the lines there are certain notable examples of nations who have repeatedly lied to the global community about disarmament only to scale up their nuclear aspirations a few years later. There is an obvious trend and I will leave it to the readers to discern for themselves.

As matters stand, we are all going to hell in a bus with no brakes. Don't sweat the small stuff. Stop and look at the big picture. Time is running out.

shot of the day

^-HooRaY-^
Originally uploaded by archivista.

My photo of the day.

the story of a pair of leather shoes

I am a pair of leather shoes. The type designed for those male humans. After being taken off the back of a cow I was put through the indignity of having various yucky types of chemicals poured all over me, stretched every which way and molded to take my present form. I have to admit that the end result is rather impressive and I quickly forgave my creators. The day that the humans actually put me on display in the shoe store I was so proud that i was sure I would burst.

I was eventually bought by a person and put to work. And did this man put me to work. Day in and day out I pounded the ground protecting his precious stinking feet. I swear these so called humans have the most delicate disposition. Its a real wonder that someone actually made them the masters of the world.

Last night after a particularly grueling day I finally was given the chance to rest on my shoe rack. The night air was a pleasant change from the malodorous feet. I breathed a sigh of relief and settled down for the day.

Imagine my surprise when I was picked up roughly by a pair of unfamiliar hands and spirited away at the ungodly hour. After a while I was put onto another pair of feet and I have to tell you that these were even more smelly than my previous master's! Is there no end to my long suffering? Please God make my suffering end. Reduce me to useless scraps so that i do not have to endure any more. Incinerate me and make me into ashes. I am at the end of my tether. Do it now!

Epilogue : just my roundabout way of saying that my leather shoes were stolen right off the rack in front of my door.

the fall of man

deep dark wells for eyes, full of painful secrets and regret. a backward glance pregnant with longing. looking back at what? a time of innocence and freedom now long gone.

once occupying the top echelon of a local political think-tank, the man you see above is now treated like a common criminal with other undesirables. how the mighty have fallen. read all about it here.

snow

I have only seen and felt snow once in my entire life. This was in India at the foothills of the Himalayas more than 10 years ago. I still remember some of my fellow travelers scooping the stuff up and putting them into cardboard canisters. Later in the bus a snow ball fight broke out.

Being from a tropical country, snow is foreign and a mystery. I am told that if you look at it under a microscope the crystals have a perfectly symmetrical design and no two snowflake are the same. The creativity of nature is limitless.

I can only imagine what life would be covered in snow. Would my legs sink when i walk on it? How cold would it be if i walk barefoot? Will i be able to get it off my hair? What will it taste of on my tongue? What would it feel like to be surrounded by the stuff?

Lori Twiggs have tried to answer my questions through his oil paintings. Scattered amongst his galleries of oil paintings are numerous ones of desolate snowscapes. One of my favorites can be found at this link. It is devoid of human presence and is more powerful because of it. The silence is palpable, accentuated by the predominantly white backdrop. a breathtaking depiction of beautiful isolation.

For more head over to Oil Paintings by Lori Twiggs

gastronomical adventure

disclaimer: this is not for the squeamish. children under 12 must get the permission of their parents before proceeding further.

Ok this is just sad. I am sitting in my car in front of a public park in Ipoh, Perak, Malaysia and typing this. At 12.50 in the afternoon on a overcast Saturday. I am waiting for my sister to finish her presentation at a nearby local bank. Off the top of my head I can think of any number of places that I would rather be in. Anyways family comes first and all that shit and its not like I have to save the world today back in Kuala Lumpur.

Almost shat my pants an hour ago and I am not dealing in metaphors here. Started off with a twinge of discomfort way down at my center of gravity. As the seconds ticked off the pressure built up and it felt as if all my insides were shifting downwards. This must what it feels like for a woman in the throes of child labor. At that point in time you could not have distracted me even if you placed a million dollars right in front of me. My senses had shut everything down to divert all available resources to my lower abdomen. All i needed was to expel. The noodles i had last night growled menacingly in the nether regions of my bowels.

i caught sight of a nearby mall and drove into the multi-story carpark. being a weekend the crowd was out in force and i had to circle for a good 15 minutes before i found an empty slot. by this time my senses had gone into overdrive and a thin film of sweat clung to my forehead and upper lip. walking as quickly as i could without bringing attention to the fact that my insides were about to burst, i accosted the first guard on duty at the mall and inquired as to the whereabouts of the nearest loo.

securing an empty stall, my muscles gave way. sweet relief.

the man on the sidewalk

What is the story behind a man who sleeps on the sidewalk with no roof over his head? How did he end up with just a piece of cardboard to separate his body from the cold hard ground? In this shiny age of the internet what twisted circumstances brought about the abject poverty of this man who wraps a dirty cotton cloth around his head to keep the bright neon lights out?

How did the distribution of wealth become so uneven that Tom Cruise gets paid USD25 million each time he pretends to be somebody he is not in fictional situations and the man on the sidewalk can't even afford a pillow to rest his weary head? The system must be wrong! So is there a real alternative out there? One which will not leave people behind to wallow in the poisonous exhaust of the car called progress?

In 2006 the Norwegian Nobel Committee decided to award the Nobel Peace Prize to one Muhammed Yunus and the bank he founded, Grameen Bank. The latter is one of the few banks around the globe that specializes in microcredit in which small loans are made out to people who are viewed as poor credit risk by the traditional banking world. With this small amount of money, the recipients are expected to make a head start in small cottage industries to lift themselves and their families out of poverty. It brings to the mind the old adage of giving someone a rod to fish rather than giving him just free fish which has finite value.

As with all schemes, this one has its problems. The most obvious one would be people not repaying their loans and thus depriving the bank of its source of revenue to continue helping others. The world is full of shady people who will abuse any system but they are not good enough reason to stop helping others who will honor the loan and improve their lot in life. This aim is too important to be waylaid by those who will forever be crooks.

Would things have been any different for our man on the sidewalk if he knew of microcredit? I will never know. A day after i saw him, the man is no longer there. He has slipped through the cracks again, forever to be hidden in the dark recesses of human existence.

Half-Baked

Top 10 Reasons why i have not updated my blog for the past the past 48 hours:

1. Could not get into blogger.com 2 nights ago most likely due to the quake in taiwan
2. I am physically and mentally drained at the end of the day
3. Felt it was not fair for my few readers to endure half-baked entries
4. Abducted by aliens
5. Time-traveled back to an age without internet
6. Had a lobotomy
7. Took part in the American Idol audition and was kicked out unceremoniously
8. Decided to commit internet suicide
9. Amnesia
10. A little voice in the head told me not to

Tarzan Boy

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Jungle life
I'm far away from nowhere
On my own like Tarzan Boy

Hide and seek
I play along while rushing cross the forest
Monkey business on a sunny afternoon

Tarzan Boy
Baltimora


The above is an excerpt of the song that was playing on the car radio on my way home. I do not know how many of you remember it and even if you do, i do not expect you to own up to it. The cheesiness of the words are only equaled by the cheesy synthesized-music that accompanies it. Despite myself it brought a smile to my lips. I also thank the maker that i was alone in the car.

The stupid meaningless piece of fluff actually dredged up a lot of memories. It is inherently tied up with the adolescent rush of seeing and buying the latest issue of the many teen-pop/fashion magazines at the news stand. The joy of hiding in your own room and scouring the glossy pages for bits of inconsequential facts regarding the latest pop sensation with their bizarre hairdos and clothing sense. The pathetic attempts at imitating said fashion just before the annual school ball and never getting it quite right. The sense of exquisite danger dancing for the first time with members of the opposite sex. Discotheques with deafening music and multi colored strobe lights. The first taste of alcohol.

A fact that might not have appeared in the pop magazines though : the singer and songwriter of this song, Baltimora, died of AIDS soon after the huge success of 'Tarzan Boy'.

the rookie and the veteran

not to complain about work. this is the latest edition to my new year resolutions for 2007. what is the point? nobody will lessen your workload just because you whine about it. in fact it might even play against you should your colleagues and superiors get wind of it.

"i came back from work at 8 pm!" i exclaimed to my sister 2 days ago. she shrugged her shoulders and gave me a bored look. "so?"

it is now 9.11pm and she is still at work. i guess she has made her point.

the truth serum

Many readers would have doubtless known about the sensational mass murder case currently under investigation in New Delhi, India. A wealthy business man and his man-servant are accused of luring street children into their house and killing them after sexual abuse. The thing that piqued my interest in the media frenzy around this case is the use of truth serum in an attempt to extract confessions from the suspects.

The first thing that came to mind was a drug which miraculously makes one tell the truth. This sounds like something straight out of a Hollywood B-grade movie. However this could not be further from the ........er.......truth (pun intended). The so-called truth serum is nothing more than thiopental sodium (from a group of chemicals called barbiturates) which is a common drug employed by anesthetist to put their patients 'under' before a surgical procedure. To make it even less exotic is the fact that its main function in an interrogation is to make the subject lose his or her inhibition so that he/she may be more forthcoming. This however does not make him or her lose self control. The subject will still be able to chose what they want to tell the interrogator. In the end they may only be very truthful about their lies!

family guy

never realized my potential for disruption. it started out as a simple statement of me not having breakfast yet. my friend and his wife decided that we must partake in the most important meal of the day together. the shit storm started that very instant. they had to put on the diapers for their new born and 2 year old boy. the latter decided to throw a temper tantrum right there and the father had to spend a good 15 minutes tussling with him. diapers were on and then yanked off just as quickly by naughty little fingers. eyes became red and inflamed. whining and sobbing filled the house. fingers and thighs were rapped which led to more mewling. after a while the small one decided to join in. the whole crying and screaming mass was bundled into the car and off we went.

upon arrival at the eatery, the 2 year old couldn't wait to explore his surroundings and the young parents had to take turns running after him. finishing breakfast as quickly as possible, the children were again put into the car and transported back pronto. more screaming ensued. as i drove away i saw the family in my rear view mirror standing in a huddle around the gate struggling with the lock. i rejoiced in the boxed-in silence of my car.

greetings to old friends

suddenly found some old friends appearing on the comments section of this blog. glad to hear from you guys and thanks for all the encouraging words. life is all of a sudden very different and i am still reeling from all the new experiences. some are sweet but they are the exceptions. change is always painful and i am in the thick of it right now. still a long way to go but i might just hang in there. i expected it when i made the move down but no amount of mental preparation can overcome the steep learning curve. i may slide down this curve occasionally but i will just have to pick myself up and start the uphill climb again. this is my lot in life and these are the choices i have made.

#4

disclaimer : for all those who are in the habit of shooting down show-offs and arrogant bastards blowing their own trumpets, proceed with extra caution. really. don't say i did not warn you.

i am putting this up purely for the novelty of it. i am and never will be under the illusion that i have a popular blog that millions around the world flock to daily for pearls of wisdom. this was never the intention of this blog and never will be. it is done purely in the spirit of experimentation and mostly fun. for people who measure the worth of a blog by how much moolah it garners, as of today my total earnings from google adsense is a resounding zilch . i signed up for it under the influence but thats another story.

all these makes it even more implausible when i keyed in the words 'days of our life' in yahoo search and the blog that you are reading came out 4th from a total number of 344, 000, 000 sites that has a reference to the phrase. i do not know how these search engines work but there you have it. the little cogwheels of the universe never fail to amaze me.

the new guy

'how was your first day at work?' i hope that there is someone out there who care enough to ask that of me. well you know me well enough to know that i will tell you any ways.

hungry and tired. work was especially heavy today most likely due to the backlog over the long holidays. worked right through lunch with no food or water. finished everything at 5 pm and made a beeline for the cafeteria for a very belated lunch of buns and soda. good way to shed some weight. all day people were giving me sideway glances usually reserved for the 'new guy'. guess they were all 'new guy's in the past and are exacting their revenge. no matter. like water off the back of a duck.

tomorrow's another day and i hope to live through it. wish me luck!

the year of the pig

just wondering how the retailers in town will decorate their outlets this year for the upcoming lunar new year. when even the use of the word 'jesus' is censored on tv, how in hell's name are they going to put up a giant cutout of a pig in their window displays? for those who do not know the pig is considered 'haraam' in Islam.

while driving around Kuala Lumpur a few weeks ago i happened to be in a well known residential area. when i turned into a narrow road i saw a makeshift tent jutting out from a house with total disregard for traffic. as my car pulled up in front of the house i saw the carcass of a headless pig roasting over a pit fire. a thick pall of smoke wafted skywards. no prizes for guessing the ethnicity of the guilty party. i have to wonder what the Muslims in the neighborhood were thinking about at that point.

so how to skirt the sensitivities of the local censorship board? would dressing the pigs up in cartoonish and cutesy costumes appease the powers that be?

i hereby throw down the gauntlet and challenge the retailers' ingenuity. oink oink!

in the city

i am in like flint! just got into kuala lumpur. decided to come a day earlier so that i have one extra day to explore before reporting for official duty on wednesday. you cannot dream of the amount of cables and wires that come with a desktop pc and all its peripheries (eg. modem, wifi router, speakers etc). anyways got everything setup now and ready to go. the drive was surprisingly stress free without the usual post-holiday mad rush back into the city. i pity all the suckers who have decided to make the pilgrimage back tomorrow.

my current situation reminds me of the childhood story of the town mouse and the country mouse. the country mouse decides one day to visit his cousin who lives in a big city full of bright lights and fancy things. during his stay he is accosted by big ferocious dogs, frightening lawn mowers and other modern monstrosities. at the end of the day he has had enough and runs back to his idyllic life in the sedate but peaceful countryside. in my case i don't have a choice and will have to stick it out here as long as it takes, lawn mowers and all.